Photo by formulanone, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia CommonsThe Falcons Are Speedrunning a Disaster
Both QBs limited, both edge rushers gone, a 97-yard pick-six from the emergency quarterback, and Defector just published their eulogy. The Falcons are not just losing August — they are compounding catastrophes at a historic pace.
Name one NFL franchise with a worse August. I'll wait.
Both quarterbacks limited — Tua day-to-day with a tight back, Penix still four weeks from full clearance. Both first-round edge rushers gone — Pearce suspended eight games, Walker's ACL ended his season before it started. Your emergency quarterback threw a 97-yard pick-six. Your only touchdown came from a UDFA named Jack Strand. Final score: Broncos 27, Falcons 7.
And Defector just published their "Why Your Team Sucks" edition. Perfect timing.
Miles broke down the edge crisis this week. He's right. But Miles is examining one limb. The whole body is shutting down.
Tua knows. "Not up to standard, not even up to par." That's your franchise quarterback reviewing his own team three days after going 3-for-5 with a fumbled snap.
Cooper Rush: 7-for-19, 62 yards, two interceptions. That's not a stat line. That's a cry for help.
This franchise hasn't made the playoffs in eight years. Year nine just opened with a preseason game that felt like a documentary trailer.
I know what you're going to say. It's preseason. Tua played two series. Penix is hitting every milestone. Calm down.
No.
When your emergency QB's highlight is a 97-yard pick-six for the other team and an undrafted rookie is your entire offense, "it's just preseason" stops being a defense. It becomes a cope.
Tell me I'm wrong.
The Tilt
This is the worst August any NFL franchise has had in recent memory.
— Dex Ponce
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